//bedtime for me- it’s move in day tomorrow!


i wishh some video games were movies so i could watch and enjoy. i’m bad at them. how do you play the stanley parable? someone pls tell me the story of bioshock in novel form



  • "What are you doing?"
  • "What are you staring at?"
  • "You look familiar."
  • "Don’t be such a dumbass."
  • "Are you actually listening to yourself?"
  • "Give me that back."
  • "Sorry about that."
  • "Good night, I love you."
  • "It’s nothing, forget about it."
  • "It tastes the same."
  • "Would you stop that?"
  • "Who is she/he?"
  • "They turned off the heat."
  • "Where’d you get all of this money?"
  • "Did you steal this?"
  • "You’re hurt."
  • "See you in hell."
  • "You could sleep over?"
  • "You’re not wearing a shirt."
  • "I think we might have slept together."
  • "Is it alarming that part of my summer to do list is figuring out my sexual preferences or no?"
  • "I’m going to die."
  • "You failed."
  • "Did you buy me some?"
  • "I think we got married last night."
  • "This is why no one uses maps anymore."
  • "Of course, I’m sure! Siri told me so."
  • "I told you that would work."
  • "I feel like cupid."
  • "When did drunken hate sex become our thing?"
  • "You’re wrong."
  • "Dude, you’re wasted."
  • "Go home."
  • "You said it was an emergency!"
  • "You wanting sex is not an emergency."
  • "If I don’t get alcohol into my system in the next twenty minutes, I’m going to shrivel up into nothing."
  • "I may have keyed her/his car."
  • "You can’t send me those kind of pictures while I’m at work!"
  • "That’s sketchy looking."
  • "Now you’re just being lame."
  • "Stop acting like you hate me."
  • "I’m pretty sure that’s illegal."
  • "Did you get arrested?"
  • "You got a little bitchy there."
  • "Lie if you have to."
  • "Save me."
  • "Save yourself."
  • "There is nothing wrong with a meaningless hook up. Or three of them."
  • "Why are you dressed up?"
  • "What do you take me for?"
  • "Don’t lie, you’re very obviously high."
  • "I can’t find my pants."
  • "I’m covered in glow paint and I’m pretty sure someone stole my shirt. So far, fun night."
  • "You tried to do what?"
  • "For health reasons, I’m gonna have to ask you to strip."

(Source: corydiawrites)

posted 1 hour ago with 774 notes
via:solvingthxpuzzle source:corydiawrites


(Source: gavinsnosehair)

posted 2 hours ago with 3,877 notes
via:dr-hannibal-fucking-lecter source:gavinsnosehair

dibs dibs dibs dibs dibs dibs dibs [ x A MILLION ]

send me a ‘dibs’ if you are ridiculously attached to me as an rp partner ;

//same to you, babe!

posted 2 hours ago with 0 notes
#cheer up #angelxmarwolaeth #asks

Send me, “I had a sex dream about you last night,” to see how my muse responds.

(Source: rpsentencestarters)

posted 2 hours ago with 246 notes
via:sxsure source:rpsentencestarters

Pregnancy/Baby ||Starter Sentences||

"I'm pregnant.."
"I'll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick.."
"You're pregnant?! How did this happen?! No, no, no, wait, don't tell me how it happened, never mind.."
"Happy Father's Day, babe!"
"Wait... you're having a what?!"
"There's someone I'd like you to meet.."
"Shh... he/she's sleeping.."
"Why couldn't YOU have been the one to get pregnant?! Why me?! The bad shit always happens to ME!"
"I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me."
"He/She's killin' me, dude! When's he/she gonna come out?!"
"Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!"
"Either what I just felt was a contraction or just a cramp... not really sure.."
"I am not getting rid of another life! How dare you even suggest that!"
"No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... we aren't ready for kids yet!"
posted 2 hours ago with 1,807 notes
via:sxsure source:omg-memes

(Source: emmsroberts)

posted 2 hours ago with 69 notes
via:emmaroberts666 source:emmsroberts
#fc #gifs
"The frightening thing is that, like most of their other campaigns against women, they see themselves as just warriors fighting for what’s right. This is primarily because they firmly believe that any woman who speaks up on women’s issues is completely disingenuous and only doing it for the purposes of self-promotion, and that any man who does is looking to get laid, because they actually cannot possibly imagine a scenario in which someone would genuinely give a shit about women.
Members of this board, as well as “Men’s Rights Activists” in general, tend to go apoplectic at even the most mild implications that women might be human beings. For them, this is simply “not allowed” and must be punished swiftly and severely, as they appear to believe that feminism is the one obstacle in the way of all these pathetic neckbeards getting their pick of supermodel girlfriends who obey their every whim. The goal is to make it as uncomfortable to speak out about misogyny and women’s issues as possible, which is why they go to the wall in terms of harassing women like Emma Watson. At the end of the day, this is the crux of it. It would be sad if it weren’t so vile."

posted 2 hours ago with 13,017 notes
via:tinobaldouchey source:wilwheaton

Fuck Buddy Application

Availability (How busy/not busy are you.) :
Soft or Rough?:
Dirty talk? : Yes [] No []
Dominant or Submissive? (Or both.):
Some (Or all) of my turn on’s:
Why should I choose you:
Other thing’s you should know:
posted 2 hours ago with 5,464 notes
via:fixedpointcaptain source:thomas-schiff